... on a story of this calibre, and the only commenters are talking about coffee?

"It's a great idea, said The Chairman as Bob finished his presentation. "I like it" "Yes!" his Executive Marketing Manager concurred. "These dehydrated beef products should be a great sales success, as long as you can perfect the manufacturing process". Bob smiled Meeting concluded, Bob left the boardroom and returned to his laboratory, where, yet again, he found on his desk a note from one of his researchers. The note read: Bob, Melinda and I are running away to get married. I'm sure you'll understand. We're in love, and we have to follow our hearts Thank you so much for the research opportunities. I'm sure any day now you'll make a breakthrough...

He will. Totally It was inevitable, really, that a song named "Fix it so she dreams of me" would get prefixed with A Jimmy Saville reference, even though I didn't actually leave my heart at Papworth General. Need chords? Then Chords you shall have Jim'll Fix It chords came courtesy of Ukulele Hunt.  Fix it so she dreams of me chords are here, because the blog engine can't format them reliably. DAMN YOU SUBTEXT. Anyway, instrument list: Cordoba Tenor Ukulele Sanchez Soprano Ukulele aNueNue Concert Banjulele Fender Jazz Bass Percussion...

Dramatis Personae Mr Geoffrey Platypus, a platypus Mrs Edina Platypus, his wife of three years Act 1 Night time, Platypus Burrow. An imitation log fire flickers. Mr and Mrs P are on the imitation leather sofa. An open bottle of wine is before them, and is nearly empty. Their body language suggests a certain...friskiness Mr P: Hey baby. You're looking hot tonight. What say we, get a... little closer [waggles eyebrows, puts on chicka bow wow record] Mrs P: Oooh, charmer Mr P: I'm in the mood for a little duck-billed, flat tailed action, baby. It's between June and October, and you know what that means Mrs P: I...

Storified by @anarchic_teapot. Click for the full stream.

So I'm back in Sydney now after a weekend away in Melbourne for Skepticamp Melbourne 2011. And what a marvellous day it was. The unOrganisers have to be handed massive props for putting on an excellent day. Held in the storied halls of Melbourne University, in a venue almost designed for a 150-person Skepticamp, the day was filled with insight, jollity, dicks* and, unusually for a skepticamp, arses. Thanks, Jo Benhamu. I arrived a bit late at the venue, since I had flown in the night before and only managed to sleep at about 3am, but from the moment I arrived...

So long as the way they crack Apple is to learn from Steve Jobs that style matters, that beauty matters, that joy, simplicity, elegance, harmony, charm, wit and quality matter – well, I don’t care which company has the best stock market capitalisation. And in one sentence, that really does sum up what's important. I am not an Apple computer user at present. I have an iPhone and several iPods. My Macbook and Bondi Blue original iMac are relics of the past, but I cannot deny that the philosophy underlying the product line has always, it seems, been firmly pointed at "great product and...

Dear IT Guys I have a problem with you. Yes, I mean you. You people ostensibly providing information technology services. Especially those of you in government organisations. What exactly are you playing at? You've become an impediment to human productivity. How did this happen? IT was meant to be the shining future of humanity. It was meant to give us offices free of paper, instantaneous communication, systems that would know what we want and when we want it, machines that would do all the crappy stuff and leave us free to innovate and live a little. IT was meant to liberate us so we could achieve our...