My little gift to the Victorian Government. If they were to fine me per "offensive word", this little ditty would net them $3900. But they can get fucked.
Original idea by Dave The Happy Singer, for which I'm eternally grateful. Music, lyrics, production and all that nonsense by me.
You are free, I say, free, to cover this song anywhere you like, as long as you let me know you've done it and, if possible, provide a link to a recording.
G
Ya can't say goddamn in Glenrowan
C D7
In wodonga don't say the word "wank"
G Em
You can't play Tim Minchin in Tullamarine
A D
and you can't say jack shit on Southbank
G
Saying "shite" in the shires is dodgy
C D7
and titfuck is way out of line
G Em
They don't do dick jokes in the dandenongs these days
A D G
Cause the politicians ain't got no spine
SOLO
G, G7,
C, D7, D, D7
G, E
Am, A, D
G, G7
C, D7, D, D7
G, E
A, D, G
G
Don't ever say "fuck it" in Fitzroy
C D7
In Carlton, don't use the word "cock"
G Em
And if you ever say "Bollocks" in Broadmeadows South
A D
You'll end up in cuffs in the dock.
G
You can't quote George Carlin in Croydon
C D7
Not even as a publicity stunt
G Em
Don't ever say twat, prick or frig in St Kilda
A D G
And in Coburg don't ever say Cunt.
I'll be in Melbourne on the 20th and 21st of June, the 20th to speak to Victorian Skeptics in the cafe (La Notte, Lygon Street) and to do a gig/live podcast thingy with Dave The Happy Singer at the Clyde in Carlton (where you can't say cock) on the 21st. Full details to follow shortly, but be there or be square. And don't bring your pollies.
By the way, a video of the above track should follow, with an updated version to be filmed in Melbourne when I get there.