A Drunken Madman

Yes, a rare political post from me, but on a topic which really bears examination. As we all know, Iran's nuclear programme has been a cause of international concern for a number of years now. There are fears among Western powers that Iran's nuclear programme may bring to fruition several serious concerns

• Attainment of nuclear weaponry, thus tipping the balance of military power in the region
• Possiblity of nuclear acccidents due an unstable government's inability to properly maintain facilities
• Possiblity of sabotage due to the volatile political situation in the area
• Accidental (or deliberate) loss of nuclear material, which may subsequently find its way into the hands of terrorists

The IAEA has laid out these concerns in great detail, but I feel that there is an aspect that has been missed in the drive towards a a controlled policy for Iranian nuclear development.

To outline this serious concern in detail, one must digress momentarily into the field of entomology.

Iran has around 160 species of the family Formicidae, consisting of six subfamilies and thirty-four genera. The arid and semi-arid environments in the region have formed a habitat to which these species are extremely well-suited, and they are successful and widespread. The colony lifestyle and efficient resource-gathering nature of these hardy creatures are a testament to the success of evolution under stressful conditions, and the family has shown its dominance of the niche. It's not unfair to say that, in Iran, you can't heave a brick without it coming down somewhere near a colony of Cataglyphis, Messor, Camponotus or Monomorium.

In short, Iran is crawling with ants.

"What has this to do with Iran's nuclear ambitions, though?" I hear you say.

Well, let me tell you.

During the 1940s and 50s, Nuclear testing wrought destruction over large tracts of arid and semi-arid land in the Western United States. We are all aware of the Trinity test which started it all, but above-ground and underground testing continued for many years afterwards, and a little-publicised, in fact supressed, fact about these tests is that aside from creating new materials such as trinitite, they created mutations in local animal populations. Mutations of a strange and terrible nature.

Mutations such as those described in the 1954 documentary "Them!"

So, I appeal to President Ahmadinejad, please... Stop this senseless march toward destruction. For the sake of Iran, and the world. Do not unleash formic destruction upon us all. I for one do not welcome these new insect overlords, and neither should you.

Poor dear. Maybe it's time her family arranged some sheltered accomodation for the old duck. I mean, her brain's just not what it once was. She might need looking after.

Here's a little conversation that popped up in my timeline today:

"Odd", thought I, "I don't recall talking to that account recently. That's a particularly thick example of Dorey's tame trolls, and I don't generally respond to them unless I'm drunk or particularly annoyed."

Admittedly, I'm drunk and annoyed a lot, but it just doesn't stack up.

So I had a little dig around to figure out what this could mean.

It turns out that indeed, no, I haven't responded to that account for, well.... ever. My timeline is public. You can check for yourself. Besides, Dorey has had me blocked for maybe two years now. She can't see my tweets unless she specifically goes looking for them.

So what does Dorey mean?

I had a look at the picture that @MurseJackson included. Here it is:

Lolwut? I've never, ever commented on the topic of mammography. While I certainly have a certain appreciation for the aesthetics of the mammary area, I don't feel I'm in any way qualified to talk about screening for breast cancer. So what the hell is Dorey herping about?

The article she cites is from Mercola.com - and there's a rule about Mercola.com. Don't trust anything it says without asking an adult first. Still, I scanned it, and it appers to be a big, steaming case of correlation being inferred as causation, coupled with the usual dripping levels of anti-medical propaganda. Essentially, Col Ingleton was right to call it a misrepresentation and right to call Dorey a stupid person. Two points to Col Ingleton.

But still, what the hell is Meryl on about?

Come to that, what happened to Dorey's constant imprecations on the topic of 'respect'? There are two highly disrespectful replies in just the screenshot above. Meryl has clearly fallen off her high horse into a big pile of high-horse droppings.

Poor dear is losing it. Not that she ever had it, but you know what I mean. She's responded to a post to which I had no input, citing an account to which I don't direct tweets, in response to someone I don't follow, and she's bleating about double-standards while at the same time holding double standards herself. And it's not even the dumbest thing she tweeted yesterday.

Spectacular.

Of course, unlike our poor demented subject, I know exactly which tweet Meryl thinks she was responding to, and sadly it's yet another case of failure to comprehend what's put in front of her. It's not to the account she thinks it's to and it's not on the topic she thinks it's on, and it's not in the context in which she's tried to place it. 

It's pretty sad, but I guess geriatric mental decline is becoming ever more common, as human lifespan increases and the likelyhood of dying from infectious disease shrinks. Thanks to medical science, you know. I guess dementia is just one of the prices we have to pay for not dying young.

Still, I might have gained a follower or two from it. Cheers Meryl! And have a nice time in the assisted living centre!